Goodbye First Job

Coronavirus closes many books.

The book that you bought from Amazon that you said you’d read, but you lied.

The other books that you gave to Goodwill that you also said you’d read, but you lied.

Well most importantly, it closes specific chapters in your life.

In my memoir, during the corona-time, the mood will be dismal, the lights will be low, and I will be smoking a cigarette in the corner wearing a ton of black eyeliner. Mayhem will be aroused outside, smoking cars, dangling lamp-posts, and Batman landing on an upside-down Range Rover.

But for now, we can all just document our Corona-period by how many times we hear Jessica say “He’s 24” in Love is Blind.

Or why tons and tons of my parents friends are recommending a documentary about crazy middle-Americans, tiger abuse, and murder? This is entertainment in 2020 people.

But mostly, when I think back to when I graduated in 2019, I am such a different person to who I am now and I have learned more than I could ever have imagined.

I learned that it’s okay to learn things about yourself. It’s okay, give yourself permission to continue evolving.

Post-grad life is scary, and it haunted me even during Coachella. I was introspective during Kid Cudi’s rendition of Pursuit of Happiness instead of enjoying it with my best friends.

My biggest learning point was when I sat down at my desk at my first real job.

Little quick back-story, I had this incessant voice in my head that told me I needed to be in the PR field. I thought my destiny was specifically in music.

I was just another girl with unique, edgy music taste that wanted to work for starving musicians. Well they weren’t starving. I worked in marketing, decided that wasn’t my “journey,” but worked for Eminem’s publicist which was an experience nonetheless.

“Lose Yourself,” was actually written about my mind at my desk looking out onto Hollywood Blvd.

Then, I worked at another record label wanting to get back into PR. I got in trouble again. I wasn’t detail oriented, I wasn’t putting my full effort in, I ate too many free snacks and took naps. The last part is a lie, there was a lot of free food and I met Josh Groban and Jojo.

But it was too little too late for getting an actual job there.

I ended up at a small entertainment PR company. What a place. First of all, our building is both work and living spaces so the game of deciding who lived there and who worked there was my favorite way to pass time on awkward elevator rides.

I became tight with the front desk people, they’d open the door for me every morning when I walked in, and became my co-workers when I was the only assistant to 3 publicists. Shout out Ramon, my homie who still DM’s me memes. We love a friendship that started with “Is the mail here?” We began a game of sarcasm when he would reply with “Is it?”

I had countless fond memories.

Before they closed, I would steal ketchup every day from the store next door. My gym was down the street and I did squats next to Cappy from the show Greek every day during my lunch work-outs. We rented out one of the offices to three guys in the film industry. I would talk to the only single one every day. I told my friends, “we had a connection.” I then found out on Valentines Day that he was in a “situationship.” I don’t enjoy those, nor would I enjoy breaking those up.

There was one day where the power was out and we still had to “work from our phones.” Every single computer in the office had about as much life experience as a 50 year-old woman. One of our publicists had a second calling as a computer technician. Mom-cut in tow, she battled four different Microsoft computers, fixing emails, calling tech-support. She was so handy she stood on top of a giant ladder to fix our light bulbs. I once had a 13-year-old intern, my bosses’ son, who introduced me to TikTok. I had two interns/slaves/best friends who I will never forget because they each taught me so much about myself and life in general.

I started this blog. I found a way to put my writing out there. I found so many creative uses to fill my time, using many a streaming service. But mostly, I spent so much time in my first job reflecting, and reflecting, and reflecting again about what I wanted to do in life.

I discovered that my next step would be teaching. Teaching interns was my favorite part of the job. Having my 13-year-old colleague made me drum up my passion for working with kids.

I discovered my next step will be going to graduate school for teaching, specifically English. I love the English language and the way words are so beautiful and fluid. Everyone can write if they put their fingers to the keyboard, with good instruction of course.

So I applied to University of San Diego for their Education masters program, and here I am starting in June 1st, hopefully.

I was biting my nails about having to have the conversation with my boss about why I cannot answer the phones any longer. My other option was to just try to get a concussion on the way up with the mail. But thankfully, I got laid off.

My first real job was done. I went back to get my stuff from the office, one of the publicists asked about my family and how we were dealing with Corona. She wore a mask “to protect me.” I sobbed a bit thinking I wouldn’t get to hear any more gripping news like “Cheesecake Factory is closing.” I said goodbye to Ramon. I walked past my parking garage where one time I saw a real life man peeing in the corner by my car. I saw that the elevator started working for the first time since I’d worked there for 10 months.

Driving and passing downtown on my way back to my parent’s house, I started thinking that this first post-grad chapter is closing. My lease will be up soon. I will no longer have the swagger and the street cred of seeing the Staples Center from my roof.

This whole journey has been so much fun. But it wasn’t without challenges. But those challenges brought some of the most essential learning moments that have changed the course of my life.

So don’t worry about where your first job is, if you’re about to graduate. Enjoy the ride. Meet amazing people, work on your self, love your environment, and just know it’s temporary and it will lead to something great.

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